


To Find Truth in Others

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-06 13:18:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10335539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS: Divide and ConquerSam finds comfort in an unexpected place.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

To Find Truth in Others

##  To Find Truth in Others

##### Written by Elisabeth   
Comments? Write to me at [elisabeth_anna_99@yahoo.com](mailto:elisabeth_anna_99@yahoo.com)

  


**EPILOGUE for _Divide and Conquer_**

Watching the coffee swirl around in the cup didn't do much for her concentration. She'd made it into a little dance. She'd stir the coffee around three times, then take the spoon out and watch the coffee spin around on its own. Then she'd repeat the whole thing in the other direction. 

She got so caught up in her little coffee game she didn't hear the phone ring. And around and around and around the coffee went. After about five rings her head bobbed up. By the time she had picked up the person on the other end had hung up. So back it was to the coffee cup. Around and around and around. 

"Major Carter?" 

Around and around and around. 

"Major Carter?" 

Around and ar-- did somebody say something? 

"Major Carter?!" Teal'c's voice now demanded. 

"Teal'c?! Do not sneak up on me like that, it's not nice," Sam replied, trying to get Teal'c in focus. All that swirling had made her brain a little weird. 

"On the contrary, I did not sneak up on you. I called your name three times before you reacted," the Jaffa said as he took two steps closer to the desk. 

"Oh really? I was a little preoccupied I guess. Take a seat," said Sam. After he had she started shuffling around some papers to make it seem if she was actually working. Teal'c remained silent. They sat like that for minutes. 

"Major Carter?" Teal'c asked. 

"Huh? What? Oh, Teal'c. Why was it that you're here?" she asked. 

"I am here because your condition worries me," he replied in his even tone. 

"Worries? What condition and why does it worry you?" she replied, sincerely surprised. 

"Since the Tok'ra Martouf died you have been aloof and preoccupied with unimportant matters," Teal'c replied. A cloud passed her facial expression. The coffee had done such a good job of distracting her. 

"I know. It's been hard." She looked at the coffee cup looking for the words to say what she felt but none seemed to reach down as deep as her numbness. 

"It has." 

Both sat in silence. Sam trying to push the images out of her mind and Teal'c waiting for her to talk as he knew she would. 

"I want to feel just like before. I wish I could turn back time or pretend it didn't happen. Just pretend he's still out there somewhere doing his Tok'ra business. It felt wrong enough not to have him around more, now that he won't be back at all, it's..." She sought for the word that had been eluding since they had taken his body from her arms. In the end she gave up searching for it, "...indescribable." 

Teal'c nodded once slowly, the way he often did. 

"I can't rationalize why I feel this, I never really had him to begin with, why should I miss him so much now?" 

"Grief is never rational. It comes from a place not intended for mortals like you and me," he replied in a slow and deliberate manner. Something clicked in Sam's mind as she stared straight at the man before her. 

"That's it. That's what it's like. It's like I'm in a place I was never intended to be but yet I'm here and nothing can get me out. It feels like I somehow fell into this alternate reality where my life is almost identical to the old one but something is so wrong it's like it killed me and I just haven't realized it yet. I walk down the corridors wondering why no one sees that this place is different and this isn't my life. This can't be where I was before." 

Teal'c nodded again. This is what he wanted Sam to verbalize out loud. 

"It is not," he said deciding to push her as far as she could at this point. She was strong, however, he knew she couldn't take it. Nobody in this place could, that is the way it is. People were supposed to lose their strength in this place. All were equal, all were nothing compared to their individual grief. The realization that Sam had lost herself and could only get back to herself by fighting empty and stripped of all that gave her strength would be the point were she would turn to the light and begin to make her way back. 

She seemed confused and unwilling to accept her life the way it was now. That was good. She would not remain in this place of grief long. 

"I don't know what to do, where to go. I've got a world of hurt inside me and I want it out. I want my life back the way it was. Everything has shifted, everything is in a new place and I can't orient where I am or where to go with all this pain." 

"You are not supposed to. Only others can assist you in releasing. Through others you will come to accept your life the way it is without him," he said. 

She didn't reply at all but just stared into the coffee cup she had been stirring before. 

"I can't find what's true anymore. Before I took finding peace of mind in places for granted. Now it's all gone. There is truth in nothing." She spoke clearly and steadily, looking him straight in the eye like only she could. 

"Truth is not what it used to be. It is still everywhere around you, your loss has however impaired your vision in such a way that you don't recognize it. You will soon find your truth in others." Part of him wanted to take her pain, but he knew that was impossible. Besides, this was her pain, and hers alone. It was the last she had of Martouf. She should cling to it until she was ready to let go on her own accord. 

She nodded as if understanding his words. She looked at the cup of coffee and took a sip. Her face scrunched up as if in disgust as she swallowed. 

"It's gone cold," she said, looking at the cup as she put it down. Silence lay between them. 

"How is it that you know so much about this?" she asked, looking at him again. 

"In my years spent under Apophis' rule I have seen great grief. As Jaffa I was expected to restrain from any show of emotion. There was nothing to do but keep it in. One learns a lot about the place you are in at present when one is locked inside it," Teal'c said, remembering things he had contented himself in being his worst nightmares. 

Sam looked at him as he spoke. His face was placid, his tone even, his words carefully chosen to show no measure of emotion yet she felt the unfathomable depth of grief behind his mask. In one moment she understood more about this man than she had in all the years she had spent in his company. He was like her, more than she ever knew. 

It felt so strange to find so much comfort in this quiet man. Of all the people she knew and who had tried to help her to find comfort in him was so unexpected. And such a blessing. 

For a moment she sat wondering if what she wanted to do would be appreciated by him. In the end she just gave up and stood behind the desk and stared at him. 

"Can I give you a hug?" she asked, trying to mask the doubt in her voice. 

"You may," he replied as he got up. 

Before he had never understood the need to hug between adults. But as he held her he found his own pain strangely chased away, if only for a moment. 

**~ The End ~**

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>   
>  © August 7, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.  
> 

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